Become a mum for the first, second or subsequent time changes you, you are no longer just yourself you have at least one other person completely reliant on you and it's so easy to forget that you are still a person not just a Mum. For many months I forget this focusing with undivided attention on the life of a being a mum to J and then T. However, it finally clicked that I was losing my identity - I didn't want to be the person that I was before but I still wanted to be Cerys and not just be know as J and/or T's Mum.
Reclaiming me and making sure that I focused on who I was has been one of the things that I have to actively focus on and spend actually time and effort being me. I have chosen not to return to my previous work instead working from home on a change of career which making it even more important that I have the me identity and not just the mum identity.
Whether you are a working mum, work from home mum or a stay at home mum finding and being you is so vital here's some things that make it easier to be you and make sure that you are taking care of yourself as well as we know all too well Mum's aren't allowed to be ill.
Once we week take over the bathroom, light some candles, remove all of the bath toys and put them away, fill up the bath and indulge with your favourite bath products - I've tried many and one that relaxes and smells gorgeous as well as moisturises is the foaming bath soak from Sanctuary a real pampering treat.
I also schedule in regular hair appointments, it used to be twice a year when I first had the kids, but as they get older I'm now managing to schedule them more regularly as they are easier to look after. When I visit it's a complete rest from the children, I sit and read all of the gossip magazines drink hot coffee and rest. Plus when I leave my hair feels nice and I feel more confident about me - Cerys and not just being J and T's Mum.
Start a hobby
Not exactly pampering but one of the ways I relax I started a few hobbies when I had kids not related to them, gardening, crochet, crafts some I was already doing others I started up. These relax me and also give me a reward for the work that I do.
Even if you don't think you are crafty there are things that you could do - cooking, preserving, forgaging, cycling, walking, swimming - finding that time to do things for your self is essential.
Taking care of yourself
I don't know about you but once I'd had my kids my body changed - drastically changed and taking care of myself has become of the ways that's I'm finding me again. Last year I started running again for the first time in almost 10 years, I joined a weight loss programme the same one that I had joined soon after having T and I have started to gain back the confidence on who I am. I have also got the remains of the stretch marks from the HUGE bumps that I had when pregnant I used Sanctuary Spa Stretch Mark Oil for Mums to be - and even now 4 years after my youngest was born it's something that I use as it feels so nice and as I lose weight helps with the marks that I gain as I lose.
My hands really suffer as a mum - once upon a time I used to have lovely hands but since having kids they have started to look like old ladies hands unless I really look after them - the constant washing changing nappies, pushing a stroller in the wind and now standing waiting on the school run means that my hands chap and get really sore - Sanctuary Spa Long lasting moisture hand wash and hand cream has been a hand saviour.
As well as my hands my feet ache - I spend a lot of time standing and walking, when I first had the kids to help lose the weight I walked everywhere and then we went down to a one car family and until recently I wasn't using the car a lot. So looking after them became critically - using a foot polish and a foot butter keep them soft year round which means that as I swap from my boots of Winter through to summer shoes I don't have to do some emergency care to get them into condition to look great.
It makes sense - you want to be healthy then what goes into your body needs to be healthy as well, cutting down on sugars and fats help and will also mean that the food in the house is good for the kids as well. I'm not saying avoid all treats I love cake and have it as a treat regularly but my meals are healthy and I avoid eating in between as much as I can.
Importance of being you
For me and many of my friends that are parents something happens when you have kids, some of the friends that you have had before become slightly distant and you lose touch especially if you live a distance away. But like before you had kids you do still need friends to socialise with - believe me it won't be the same as before you had kids - can you imagine looking after the kids from 5am after coming in at 2am and having a hang over (well at least that was part of my life before kids?), instead we tend to socialise with friends within their homes having movie nights, games nights the kids come and have a sleep over.
We also socialise with other families, you can often find us at the weekend meeting up with our friends and their kids for a day at the farm, a run in the park or a visit to the beach in the summer. Things where I get to spend time with other adults, my husband gets to chat to other father's who are going through similar things with their kids and the kids get to play and be with other kids at the same time.
Although I've mentioned about the Importance of you when you become a mum - part of you before you had kids is the relationship with your partner, other half or husband and making sure that remains is as important as you. It's easy to fall into the roles of Mum and Dad and forget that you were a couple before the kids come along - going out regularly, long lay in's and weekends away aren't easily possible now but having regular date nights at home just the two of you is a great way to connect and make sure that the part of you that is the wife or the partner is a focus as well - we've got 12 fantastic date night at home ideas for you and your partner to enjoy and they are all money saving as well.
Read more about taking care of yourself and looking great as a mum check out
Time Saving Beauty Tricks from Sanctuary Spa
This is a sponsored post on behalf of Sanctuary Spa